We have now been in Guam for over a month and Harley has made a ton of progress and I feel that I have made none, zip, nothing!! What is up with that? I am so happy I have my children to keep me going. I really haven't made friends out here and that hurts badly. I love to have friends and I would do anything for great friends. Is is too much to ask for a great friend to love to be around all of the time no matter what is happening or how naughty the kids are? I never thought I would be so desperate for a friend. I wasn't this sad tonight until I started looking at all of the pictures that we had taken when we were in Illinois over the summer of all of our family and friends. I miss you all sooooo much!! You have no idea! I am literally in tears here writing this now. I feel that I am missing out on so much that is going on at home and yet here I am on a tropical island seeing things that others never get a chance to see or do. Am I the one being selfish? I have such great family and friends back in IL and in VA and I would do anything to see any of them right now. Also, this staying at home mom thing is wearing me out!! The house is always a wreck and right now it is Lee making the mess but soon Easton will be the one making messes too. I want to be happy!! I am usually a happy person, love to get to know people and get out and do things. I feel like I am being a hermit, I need some motivation, HELP!! Any suggestions. I took Lee to VBS today and the place was loaded with kids, at least 200 kids. You would think that since no one really recognizes me that maybe someone would introduce themself to me, nope, didn't happen. Broke my heart so I was pretty sad all day. What is wrong with me? I am shy at first and I am out of my comfort zone there and was hoping to be welcomed but I will keep trying every day this week. Please keep us in your prayers, we need it badly. I never thought this would be such a drastic change but it is bigger than I imagined. Thanks to all of you who think or pray for us on a daily basis, it means so much to us. For the love of God, I need some friends please!!!!!!
Monday, July 27, 2009
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2 comments:
Hey girl,
I understand the need for friends especially in a totally new environment. The only way that I know of is to attend church and talk with the pastor and see if there any ladies groups that meet and join them. You are very out going and make friends easily but the problem over there is that people don't do many outside activities like here in the states. Talk this over with Harley and maybe he can set up a dinner or something with the people he works with and that way you can meet new people.
Don't be depressed over this - you know as well as I do that God will not abandon you and will insure that what is best for you and the boys will happen. You have some very good friends back here starting with your Mom and me.
Just think Jen(sp) and her family will be there next year and you can be the host family for them - to have one of your good friends stationed there is great.
I'm still working on your Mom about coming over to Guam but the critters have her spooked. Maybe instead of us going there we can bring you guys back for a long visit - I know Harley would not be able to come but you and the boys can. Would you have to buy a ticket for Easton? I know I'll catch it when you mother reads this but OH WELL.
No matter how bad you feel remember the love that is here for you and your guys. You are our little girl and we are SOOOOOO proud of you - you are a great mommy, a wonderful wife and a very special person. You have shown me a new side of life that I would have missed if you hadn't invited me over for cake and coffee and I'm so grateful for you .
Keep your chin up and let God direct the way your life will be - sounds like I'm a preacher!!!
Just remember how much I love you and miss you.
larry
Beautiful Daughter, First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. This will take time and it will happen! I know of many, many, many mommies who would give their right arm to be able to stay at home with their children. This is the time they need their mommy the most. My Mom stayed at home with us and I wish I could tell her now how much I loved her being there for me when I got home from school, tucked me in bed everynight and provided a warm & loving home (not house)for us. The only interaction she had was with 7 snotty kids for years & years. Let your house be a HOME-let it get messed up & look lived in. A HOUSE a a place to stay, a home is a place to live comfortably and always want to return to. I can guarantee you, things will be much different a month from now. You are outgoing, you are making steps to meet people and you have found a church. Many others feel the same way as you, so walk up to them and say "Hi, my name is Brandi. What is your name, do you have children, do you live around here, would you like to stop by my house for a glass of iced tea?" Make a list of the negatives & and a list of the positives in your life. One negative is you are lonely and mommyhood is very hard. Now on the other hand, you have many, many positives. Your negatives are a challenge but very workable. Please continue writing in your blog. Expressing your honest feelings are the best way to deal with this huge life change. It also keeps us in-tune with you and we in turn can write back with ideas and extend our love. I am really coming to grips with the "critters" and will come out and visit. It is because of YOU and the way you have dealt with them that is giving me the courage to visit my precious little grandsons. I am going tomorrow to get my passport!!!!!! Keep praying! You have a loving family back here and please don't forget that. Call me anytime....I'm here for you. I LOVE YOU! Mom
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